"The question for us, then, is whether we trust in his power. And the problem for us is that in our culture we are tempted at every turn to trust in our power instead. So the challenge for us is to live in such a way that we are radically dependent on and desperate for the power that only God can provide."
"God actually delights in our inability. He intentionally puts his people in situations where they come face to face with their need for him. In the process he powerfully demonstrates his ability to provide everything his people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined. And in the end, He makes much of His own name."
"For the people of God who long to see his power at work and who live to see his purposes accomplished, He will give us absolutely everything we need according to His very presence alive in us."
"Instead of asserting ourselves, we crucify ourselves. Instead of imagining all the things we can accomplish, we ask God to do what only he can accomplish... Instead of dependence on ourselves, we express radical desperation for the power of His Spirit, and we trust that Jesus stands ready to give us everything we ask for so that He might make much of our Father in the world."Today, I spent some time in Ephesians 3 (what we are studying in Sunday School this week) and meditated on these few verses:
"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith..."
This lead me to pray today for myself, my husband, my friends... That Jesus would strengthen us with power through His Spirit in our inner being. To me, this went perfectly with the thoughts still fresh in my mind from the book Radical.
Then this afternoon I went to our local pregnancy center for my weekly Tuesday afternoon volunteer shift. When I walked in, a few of the other volunteers were gathering up to spend some time praying before we jumped into ministry. I just love these sweet ladies and our times of fellowship together as we minister side by side to women every week. As I was praying, the Lord just really pressed it on my heart to pray for His power, for His spirit to work today. And specifically, I prayed that He would move in such a way today that it would be obvious it was Him, and not us. I asked Him to send us other ladies in the area today and direct their steps to us (the schedule was a little bare for my afternoon shift). I prayed, I asked and I waited. But I didn't have to wait very long. Shortly after my shift started, we got multiple walk in clients (who didn't have appointments, just walked in off the street). The quiet office I walked into this afternoon was now bustling with people in and out. I knew it was God. He was sending these women to us, just like I had asked.
When the office manager got back from lunch, she informed me that one of my previous clients (who was still undecided whether or not she would carry her baby) was back in today for another ultrasound. I saw this client around 3 weeks ago. She was very overwhelmed that day. I still remember it clearly. I shared the Gospel with her. She said she understood it, but was too overwhelmed with life right now to make a decision. I encouraged her to think seriously about the things we discussed that day. I assured her it was worth her time (even though she claimed to be too overwhelmed with the craziness of her life) reminding her that when we are not in a right relationship with Jesus, our lives will be full of chaos. I still remember that day, praying that she would go home and seriously consider these eternal things we discussed.
And today, she was back. By this time she had already had 2 ultrasounds, putting her at around 8 weeks today. When our office manager had called yesterday to check in on her, my client was in tears. She asked when she could be seen and they squeezed her in today. We did not know what was going on, but that she was very highly considering abortion.
As I sat down with her, I simply asked "What's going on?" She immediately began telling me that she had decided last week to keep the baby and this week had changed her mind again. She said her emotions are all over the place. She continued to share about the not so pretty circumstances of her life. I listened. I asked her what she was afraid of, what it was that was pushing her to consider abortion again. She shared more about her circumstances with the baby daddy. I kept reassuring her that when we trust in Christ, we have a foundation, a Rock, that never changes, He never changes. Despite ugly life circumstances, emotions, pregnancy hormones, Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. When we build our house on the Rock and the storms come, our house won't fall.
We continued to talk for almost an hour. I took every chance to relate to her and remind her that God's way is perfect. That His Word is perfect. That He never leaves or forsakes His children. I kept reminding her of the benefits of following Jesus and repenting of her sin. At this point, she was still afraid, still unsure that she would be able to handle another child. We discussed adoption. I listened. I prayed.
We went in and did another ultrasound. The baby looked great. The nurse gave her a hug and told her it was good to see her again. We went back to talk some more. At this point, I wasn't sure where she was at. We had pretty much covered everything. That is where out of nowhere she asked "Do you know where I can find a Bible?" My jaw dropped. I answered, "Yes. We have Bibles and we can give you one. We also have Bible studies you can take home and work on."
I noticed a huge change at this point. I asked her "Have you been thinking about all the things we talked about a few weeks ago?" She answered with a smile, "Yes, I have." This is when I asked her if she was ready to follow Jesus, ready to repent of her sin, lay down her life, surrender, and give it to Him. She said "Yes, I want to follow Him."
I was overwhelmed with joy. Before my mind even had a chance to realize what she had said and what was going on, I choked up with tears. I told her "I just want you to know, I have never looked back, and I have never regretted following the Lord. It is the best thing you will ever do. I just want you to know how wonderful it is to be reconciled to your Creator." This was a first for me. I have cried with clients before, but this was the first time I have been in a client room and been the only one crying :) She just looked at me with a smile, I said "I never do this. But I am just so happy for you. Don't ever look back. Go, Follow Jesus wholeheartedly. You will never regret it. I promise." She looked at me with a smile. She confessed today that she believes He had died for her sins, He has risen again, and confessed that He is Lord. She put her trust in Christ today.
Today, in front of my very own eyes, I saw the power of God change this clients heart, open her eyes to His glorious Gospel, and give her the desire and will to follow Him. He answered my prayers today in a way that was more powerful and obvious than I could have ever imagined. He sent His Spirit and He worked so powerfully that we all knew it was Him and not us.
That is so moving, Julie. Thank you for sharing your story!
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