A needy beggar

Recently, with the death of Osama Bin Laden, the Lord has spoken to me of the reality of my own sin. I do think that killing him was just. I think we all have been able to sleep a little more peacefully knowing that he is no longer on the run. But that is not where this ended for me. If you know me well, you know that I am a news junkie. Big time. I love reading The Drudge Report and surfing through all of the current events on the web. And with the raid on OBL's compound last week, I had way too much fun reading the plethora of articles as the story unfolded. But that is when something hit me. I realized that on my own, I deserve the same sentence to death (physical and spiritual) that this man deserved. A scenario played out in my head and it went something like this... Its like the whole world was on the man hunt for me. My name was in the headlines in bold. Everyone saying "We must find this women and punish her. She is the worst of all sinners and she deserves death. She must pay for her sin. We will not rest until we find her." And this is where it hit me. So they find me. They want to kill me. They are so certain that I must pay for my sin. And as they accuse me and sentence me to death, Jesus steps in saying "No, she is mine. I will pay for the penalty of her sin in full. I will die in her place."  

I cannot even tell you how many times this has hit me this past week. Over and over. Tears have come. I do not understand why He did this for me. It blows me away. And it wasn't just my sin He paid for. I am so completely overwhelmed that all I can do is cry and be thankful. I do not deserve life. I have rebelled. I have sinned. But Jesus so humbly came down and became one of us. And lived a perfect life and died a perfect death in my place so that I could be reconciled to my Creator.

So, I am thankful that this week, as I was reading "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" the Lord drove that home in my heart through this scenario.  That on my own I deserve nothing besides hell, that I am poor in spirit, a beggar that desperately needs Him.

I am thankful that He has shown me a glimpse into what He accomplished on the cross. I don't think I will ever be the same.